As a young and single African-American woman, dating should be fun and easy. Instead, it is an excruciating job interview that is going terribly wrong. You want to give up midway through and block that person from any and all contact with you. So, let’s talk about why dating is so difficult in this city.
In the city of Chicago, I often find myself gathering information on people who I don’t even know. I know about other relationships and cheating scandals, affairs, failed marriages and one night stands. These same men and women who are part of these scandals are the one’s who you usually end up on a date with.
After I graduated from college and started working towards my M.B.A., I really began dating again. I was made out to seem stuck up and too independent because I had these things going for myself. I simply ask a guy what is his occupation and who does he live with and here comes the lies and the insecurities. I should not be made out to feel like I’m asking too much of you. I definitely don’t do guys with major insecurities.
Dating in this city is difficult because the only guys available are left over baby daddies and cheating husbands. These men usually don’t have any idea of what stability looks like and has very little to offer in a relationship. Here are a list of problems that a young single woman here might incur when dating a city guy:
- Lives with his mother/baby’s mother/Grandma
- Has multiple children
- Does not have a valid license
- Wants to borrow your car
- Does not have a car
- Does not know what it means to date you
- Usually needs to borrow money from you
- Not Educated
- Wants to move in with you
This list can go on and on but I’d prefer not to bash them any more than what I already have. So, because I think that as a 28-35 year old man, you should have your own place, job, car, and money; I’m the problem and I’m being unrealistic. At this point, I’d rather date someone’s grandfather.
Dating up north versus down south is completely different and I’ve noticed so. In the south, a good majority of the men are respectful and chivalrous. They are stable, financially and mentally, and most are ready to settle down and start a family. I’m stuck with the guy who started a family and couldn’t stop.
I don’t know what’s in the water here in Chicago but I really need the Mayor or Governor to filter that shit. I just want to go on a nice and simple date with a MAN who has his shit together.
Dear Man Who Has His Shit Together,
Where are you and can you please meet me somewhere.